Archive for April, 2014

The future in 10 years

Posted on April 12, 2014. Filed under: cultural, educational, Grade 1 & 2 |

I took part in a school design process about a month ago, and I have to say, my favourite part of the whole week was when the facilitator basically let us dream big and come up with our perfect school.

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Well today I have decided to dream big and write a post about what I think technology/life is going to look like in 10 years. When I was a kid I used to joke about answering the phone and seeing the person on a tv screen. Uh… Can you say FaceTime? Or Skype? That dream/joke is now a reality, and I thought it was laughable! So in this post I am going to dream as big as I can and talk about some possibly “laughable” technology that I would love to have some day. In 10 years I will get my clone to come back and check this post and see if any came true 🙂

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1) Robots. I already have a robot vacuum cleaner- so I can’t see it being that far off. I think that in 10 years there will be robot maids. The Jetsons totally knew what they were talking about. I bet there will be robots to cook and clean for you and maybe even do the laundry!

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2) I think all bulletin boards/ posters are going to be digital. Sometimes I think it would be easier in my classroom if I didn’t have to staple all the kid’s work to the wall. We are already into digital portfolios, so I think the next schools are going to have digital bulletin boards too. Side note: as I was looking for a picture to put with this one- I found out that this already is a real thing apparently…

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3) I really think all shopping will be done through phones or mobile devices. I can’t see people carrying big wallets with cash/member cards/etc. I love paying at Starbucks with my Starbucks app and getting rewards right on the phone. I feel like most stores will go that route. But who knows what type of stores there will even be! Maybe everything will be online shopping!

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*I am having a hard time really thinking out of the box here. Everything I feel like I am suggesting is already almost possible. I want to think of the “impossible,” and that way if it comes true, it will be so much better!
5) I think people will be able to teleport… Or somehow be in a new place doing something without spending 30 hours on a plane. I’m not going to suggest HOW that is going to happen because I have no idea but somehow it will be possible.

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6) I think body image will get even crazier. It has already got to the point where plastic surgery and those types of procedures are becoming so common that I think it will be a more accessible/fast option in the future. I think there are going to be plastic surgery vending machines where you can go into a booth in a mall and get a nose job, or a quick Botox injection. It will probably be done by a hot looking robot. That, or some skeezy guy with unclean needles.

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7) I think the future is going to have new foods that engineers have invented or redesigned. I think there are going to be super foods that will be kind of like medicine. You can just eat a banapple and get rid of your cold at the same time!

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8) I like the idea of hovercraft cars- I just hate the idea of writing it, because it sounds so cliche! But yeah- lets just get it over with and say it… In 10 years there will be hover cars everywhere 🙂

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9) 3D printers will be used for everything. Want a piece of toast? 3D printer it. Want a new tech gadget? Just print it. New baby brother? Done.

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10) The best thing about 10 years from now is that we actually have no idea what it will look like. I’m sure Apple will probably have invented a video game console, and who knows, they will probably have someone in the Oval Office too.

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I like to think as an educator I have a part to play in our world’s future, as I get to teach the next generation’s leaders. I have stopped teaching them “information” per se, and started to teach them skills that I think they will need in tomorrow’s work force. That includes social skills if you are wondering. (Did you know that I take the first few weeks of Social Studies class each year to teach kids how to shake hands, hold a conversation, and exit a conversation politely?) Even though my students are learning great tech skills that will benefit them for days to come, I hope to also instil and encourage a respectful attitude and polite demeanour that they can take with them to lead tomorrow’s generation.
Have some ideas? Comment below and tell me what YOU think our world will look like in 10 years.

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How to become a professional cheerleader

Posted on April 2, 2014. Filed under: cheerleading, personal |

Warning: sarcasm ahead. This is a satire piece overdoing the regular ins and outs of cheerleading. These aspects of cheerleading are things I have personally struggled with, AND tendencies I have seen in other cheerleaders I know. I am NOT intending to make fun of any of my fellow cheerleaders, but rather to poke fun at how easily this sport can fill and consume our lives.
So you want to be a professional cheerleader? Well, I havent been one very long, but I will try to give you all the information I know. It’s a lot of work, but you will see what I mean.
Perfect Body- obviously anyone who wants to do cheerleading professionally knows that their body has to be perfect. Depending on the type of cheerleader you are, the body part that needs work will vary. If you think your legs are ok, then your flabby arms are probably the problem. If your legs and arms are great, then it could be your butt. If you are like me and have a naturally tall and lanky body type and you think no ill of your legs, butt, or arms, then it is probably your stomach. The way you can find out which body part isn’t up to par is by paying attention to your environment. When you are in the grocery store line looking at the fitness magazine, what part of the models body do you look at first? When at the beach, what part of other girls bodies do you catch yourself gazing at longingly… That’s probably your “thing.” It’s also very common to have other people tell you that this body part looks great/fine/normal. Don’t believe them. In professional cheerleading you can never really be happy with your body. That would be silly. That would mean listening to your professional trainers who are trying to help you build muscle for the sport. They will make you lift weights that are relative to the weight of the human being you are going to be lifting on game day. They claim fitness in the sport is something about safety. To follow THAT plan, you will end up looking muscular and possibly even healthy. If there’s one thing I know about the cheerleader image, it’s that it is very closely tied to the model image… And we all know that you can’t be healthy AND skinny. Those just don’t jive well together. Cheerleaders must have perfect bodies.

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You will be rich-
To be a professional cheerleader you should quit your job right away so you can start making the big bucks. Did you know that once you pay your $300 deposit, $20 tryout fee, buy your $40 cheer runners, pay for your gas to get to wherever the tryout or callback interviews are, you are then ready to start ringing in the cash (or cash equivalent). This last year alone I made $20 cash (by secretly selling our calendars for more than I was supposed to to drunk people) and I received close to $500 in the football team’s retail merchandise. Now, technically we weren’t allowed to wear that merchandise around. Only for promotions and game day stuff, but as soon as that 9 month season was over, we were allowed to wear it as much as we wanted. Of course after living in the colours green, black, and white during the season, I didn’t always want to wear the football team’s stuff anymore. But you better bet your bottom dollar that it is sitting in my closet keeping its worth… Maybe even appreciating in value!

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Cheer makes you valuable-
If you want to be a professional cheerleader, you have to understand cheer is what makes you worth something. You get proverbial cheer points the more you can make someone cat call you. If you can get the other girls who are prettier than you to comment on your hair, make-up, or clothing, then you have just inched up the cheerleading ladder. You also really want to make sure that other people know you are a professional cheerleader. I’m talking about people NOT in the cheerleading/football world… Surprisingly they do exist! You will need to practice casually slipping that you are a professional cheerleader into normal conversation with new people you meet. As a new cheerleader, you can be a little awkward and drop it in where it wouldn’t really make sense to mention it, but the longer you cheerlead, the easier it will get to allow people to know who you are- and that, my friend, is a BIG deal. You have to start realizing that YOU are the reason all those people come to the games! YOU are the reason they win the trophy at the end of the year! Once you start realizing that, you will really start realizing your true worth in life. Just make sure you hold onto your dream as long as possible. Once you leave cheerleading, your whole world will be flipped upside down. You will start to wonder why you exist- and you might even begin to pursue less worthy passions like a career, school, love, or faith. True professional cheerleaders pity those retired women. Some of them even come to watch us from the stands. You can see them in the stands- gazing longingly at our fit little bodies; waving at the one or two ‘lifers’ that they still know on the team. Its tragic really, but they always end up bringing up stories from when they were on the team, just loud enough so that the next few sections around them know that they too were once a cheerleader. (See beginning of paragraph on how to interject you being a cheerleader into completely random conversation. This skill is really one that should be perfected as it will be used until the day you die. I once had a 60+ year old community fitness instructor tell me that SHE was once an Ottawa Roughrider cheerleader. I smiled knowingly, knowing that my affirmation of her worth at one time probably made her feel good.) And I almost forgot to mention- you must realize that your worth is from cheer and therefore, everything else in your life that was once important- boyfriends, family, church, school, friends- has to come second. In fact maybe even third; I think cheer is allowed to take up the first AND second priorities of your life.

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Last but not least, if you really want to be a professional cheerleader, you MUST get good at taking selfies. Selfies in the car, selfies at school, selfies in the changeroom, selfies in the mirror. Selfies in the kitchen, selfies at parties, selfies with your falsies, (false eyelashes for those of you who don’t know) selfies with your besties. Selfies at night, selfies in the morning, selfies at the beach, selfies at the gym, selfiesnaps, and selfiegrams. Selfies at practice, selfies at family dinner, selfies on vacation, selfies at weddings. Selfies for boys and selfies for girls, selfies with pouts, selfies with smiles. Selfies with duck lips, selfies with kissy lips, selfies with toe pops, and selfies with hands on hips. But NEVER, and I repeat NEVER are you ever to take a no make-up challenge selfie. THAT, would be an insult to cheerleading womanhood. It is our RIGHT, and our privilege to wear make-up… And to vote and stuff like that.

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(I am actually sickened by how many of those selfie pictures I actually had. But to prove my point- I had to post them. I AM one of those people! Sad part is, I probably could have posted more… Heaven help us all.)
In closing, I wish you future professional cheerleaders good luck, and may the cheerleading gods bless you with glitter sweat, strong hairspray and a good teeth whitening gel that won’t make your teeth hurt.

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