We had a lot of fun at our good friends Kristen and Joel’s wedding back in September. It was even more fun because Jon and I were both in the wedding party. It was weird and new to experience a wedding “together” but with no stresses or worries. We definitely had a lot of fun, and their photographer Melissa Chapman was amazing. These are just a couple pictures I took throughout the night
How the Wii Can Ruin a Marriage August 5, 2008
Don’t worry, Jon and I are not getting a divorce. Our marriage is fine, but let me tell you about a little gaming console that I am sure is ruining marriages around the country… It’s called the Wii… Jon’s groomsmen went in together to buy Jon a Wii for his bachelor party. At first, this seemed like a really cool and expensive gift. I soon realized the horrors that come with it. It seems that Jon has this obsession with video games which I didn’t fully realize until we got married. His friends gave us Wii games as wedding gifts and the first three months of marriage I have been learning how to deal with his zoned out stare at the TV. We deliberately didn’t get cable because we heard some marriage advice that it is best if you learn how to talk and communicate with each other for the first year rather then letting Tv take away your together time, but I feel like we might as well have gotten cable because Jon spends even more time in front of the Tv then if we would have had cable.
My expectations are that when Jon comes home from work we can have a nice evening together where we relax and spend time with one another. Jon somewhat understands my view, but his view of relaxing when he comes home from work is sitting and playing Wii. This absolutely drives me crazy because I want to talk to him and talk about how our days went…. and he wants to play Wii. I mean I’ve played the Wii before, it’s a fun game, but hours playing it? How can guys do it? It is a fact that the Wii has caused more fights in our marriage thus far then anything else. Now you have to say, that’s ridiculous!
Another thing I don’t appreciate is the shooting games. Jon had bought this shooting game and one day I watched the little movie intro to the level he was about to play. It was imitating World War 2 and Jon was on the team that was going and killing the Germans. I had big issues with this. I lived in Germany for a year, so when I saw Jon shooting and being part of it, yes, I actually started crying. Don’t worry though, Jon was too enthralled with his game to notice!
Anyways all that being said, I love Jon to death, and I have learned to understand his love for video games… but I definitely think the Wii should have a Warning on it before you buy it that says Warning: may cause marriage problems!
more pictures from the wedding July 24, 2008
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- the boys had fun jumping
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- the ‘men’
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- sitting on top of our rental car
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- the dress
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- getting ready
Wedding Stress May 6, 2008
This week has been crazy. There’s only 4 days left until the wedding, and it’s busy busy. This week I have really begun to appreciate how God sometimes brings together husbands and wives who are completely different for good reason. As I have been “emotionaly unstable” this week, I have begun to see how Jon is and will continue to be my stability in times of need. Obviously I look to Jesus in these times for His complete strength, but God has used Jon as a blessing in my life. He has been the one beside me telling me that everything is going to be ok and that I don’t need to worry. He is the one that has brought me down to earth when I freak out thinking my life is falling apart.
Though there is so much wedding stress, I have learned to let it go and know that by the end of the day on Saturday, I am going to be married and that’s all that matters. The little things like reception decorations and flower details fall way behind in the light of the joy that will be evident on May 10th. God has brought Jon and I together and let no man (or decoration) separate us from that love. I am very excited for Saturday and I can’t wait to walk down the aisle into the arms of the one I love.
3 weeks left! April 20, 2008
Oh my goodness! Slight freak out today. There’s only three weeks left until the wedding. That is absolutely insane. Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving it, but it’s still insane. On Saturday’s we have our pre-marital counseling with our pastor. It has actually been quite the pleasant experience. Not anything like what you see on the movies.
There are a few things that have been really important to learn. One of those was “how to fight.” Jon and I have issues with fighting. When we fight, it takes us forever to resolve it. We both won’t talk for a really long time, then one person usually drives home and then a half an hour later someone calls and apologizes and then we explain ourselves, and then everything is good. In counselling we have talked about how it’s important to take those breaks to go think about everything and not blow up at the other person, but those breaks need to be timed. We have decided that we can’t go for more than an hour without resolving the conflict, or else it just builds up and builds up then some day all of the frustrations will come pouring out and we will have so many things to deal with. Apparently the key to fighting nice is dealing with problems as they come. Don’t ever let any un-resolved problems go. This way it keeps the air “free.”
Another important thing we have learned about is our characteristics. For one, I am the biggest feeler ever. I love talking about things and I am quite emotional. On the other hand Jon is quite “steady.” He doesn’t need to talk about things in depth and he’s not that emotional. Put these two personalities together and you get an interesting mix. (Although interesting, God has deliberately brought us as opposites together. I really believe that) Together we have learned that sometimes I just need to know that Jon doesn’t want to talk about stuff. He sometimes just doesn’t feel like talking (I know, how can that be possible!) And he just likes his space. But me, yes I like to talk about everything. When he comes back from the youth group he works at, I want to hear how it went. I want him to share his heart about the night and all the amazing things that must have happened. He just sees it as any old night. We have learned how to compromise. Sometimes Jon needs to talk and share with me, and sometimes I just need to let him be quiet and not pressure him to talk. I am sure that all of these differences will be even more evident when we’re married, but honestly I can not wait. I can’t wait to see how God is going to work through our marriage to bring us closer to Himself.
50 days left March 20, 2008
Oh my goodness. I truly cannot believe it. There is fifty days left until my wedding! That is absolutely insane. I feel like it was yesterday that I blogged about my engagement. I am so excited though. Not just for the wedding day, but for the marriage. That is something that has kept me going. I can’t just be excited about one day. A marriage is forever… how does the saying go? Till death do us part. I intend to keep that vow.
There has been a bit of turbulence in my wedding plans but thank God that He continues to work everything out. Where should I start? I will share my story of my engagement ring issue…
It started when Jon bought me the engagement ring. It was perfect. It was beautiful. The only problem was, it didn’t fit with the wedding band I wanted. It didn’t really fit with any bands because of the way it was shaped. But, this wasn’t a big deal. There was a 30 day refund from People’s and a 90 day exchange. We went to People’s and asked about the options. We found another ring I liked, but the diamond was really crappy. It had a lot of visible inclusions in it. So I asked if we could get the band but just have another diamond put in it. The manager told us that he would look into it, but stressed that we should come back on December 8th when a specialty custom ring guy was coming in. Apparently this guy was great. He had amazing diamonds and did a fantastic job for a great price. We took his advice and waited for the 8th. Meanwhile, our 30 day refund was up and they had strung us along past the 30 days. There would be no more refund, only an exchange.
That day when we got to the jewelry store, we talked with the custom guy. He tried to sell us these super expensive diamonds and we tried our best to explain what price range we were looking for, and that I was a student. It didn’t seem to be looking good, so I walked back over to the manager and asked him the update on the other ring we were looking at. (The one that needed the new diamond.) Apparently the manager had not looked into it, and he couldn’t tell me if the “diamond switch” was even possible. Frustrated, Jon and I went back to the custom guy and tried to see what we could do. He so graciously ended up “lowering” the price for us so we could “afford” it. It ended up costing us $1000 extra dollars on top of the exchange, and we would be getting a smaller diamond… but the important thing was that we were getting the ring part custom made to be 3 mm thick all the way around. This way it would fit the wedding band we wanted. We paid for the ring and were told that it would be 6-8 weeks. So for 7 weeks I went without an engagement ring.
After 7 weeks, Jon got the call the engagement ring was ready. We went to pick it up and I took it home. As we were in my car and I was looking at my ring that night. I was surprised at the band. It didn’t really look right. All they had done was put our diamond on one of their many average bands. The band was not custom at all. It was not even close to being 3 mm all the way around. So, we went back to the store and told the manager. He took the ring and promised to send it back and that in 10 days it would be fixed at no cost to us. So after ten days, I went back into the store to pick up my ring. I was told that the FedEx hadn’t come yet and my ring was in there. So I went to class, and called after I was done. Want to know what I heard? “Oh, well your ring wasn’t in the package.” I just about flipped out. I hung up and when I got home I called the People’s customer service. I explained everything that went on. I told them that I got engaged in October and it was already February and I didn’t even have a ring yet. I was to be getting married in 3 months! The girl on the phone was very helpful and called the Regional office for me and did everything she could. She called me back and asked me what I wanted to do. I asked for a complete refund because I just didn’t want to deal with People’s anymore. She agreed and worked everything out. That night Jon and I went back to Peoples and got a complete refund. With a half an hour left until close, we drove to the north end and went into Ben Moss. I picked out a ring that ended up being even better then the custom one, and we saved $600. And to top that, she gave us taxes in! My favourite part of this was that they gave me the ring the next day! I couldn’t believe it, I bought my ring one day and I got it the next. Even the warranty plan was better. Needless to say, after three rings I am finally happy. I love this ring and I wouldn’t change it for anything. My suggestion to all is… stay clear of Peoples.
Why Wait? January 18, 2008
Today was one of those days that I ask myself, why am I waiting for marriage? I was quite frustrated with my parents today. They have a tendency to be very nit picky about how clean our house is. If anything is lying around it gets moved or “put away,” which means I can’t find anything. It gets me so frustrated and I just wish I was living with Jon already and I would have our own house with our own rules etc. etc. But why am I not living with Jon? Because I have chosen to have a relationship with Jesus and follow his teachings. It says that a man and woman will leave their father and mother and become joined to one another, and two are united into one. Yeah this uniting doesn’t happen until the wedding day which isn’t for four months… You’d think the answer would be simple and I should just move out and live with my fiance. I mean that’s what the rest of the world does right? Yet somethings holding me back. Some inward desire that trusts what the Bible says is true and that holding off till marriage is the right thing to do… That God has created a bond between the husband and wife that begins the wedding day and grows until death do us part. Although I sometimes get so frustrated still living under my parents roof, I cling to the fact that God has a plan for me and that He loves to bless those who try and seek after him in obedience and faith. And besides it’s only four more months. Phew!
Centre pieces January 16, 2008
It has been crazy trying to find the right centre pieces within a reasonable amount of money. But yesterday I think I found them. I went to Jysk and found really cheap little sea shell candles, candle holders and blue and turquoise napkins (Which are my colours) Putting them together has been kind of fun and I like the way it’s turning out. The only problem is that I hope I don’t light everything on fire. Each table has about 8 candles. Is that too much? Is it a fire hazard? Some of them are small but they aren’t very stable. I bought (25) 0.97 cent cloth napkins, (25) 0.99 cent package of 6 shell candles, (25) 0.50 cent tealight holders and (25) $2.00 large candle holders. In total that’s about 4.50 per table. I thought that was pretty good. I am not quite sure what to do for favours quite yet but it will come.
Moment to Remember November 4, 2007
This week has changed my life. As of Tuesday October 30 at about 9:40 I am officially a bride to be. Jon, my boyrfriend at the time, now my fiance shocked me with a surprise after I got home from youth group. Here our story unfolds,
Jon and I had become friends when I was in grade 11. I met him through a really close friend at the time, and there was definitely nothing going on between us. Ironically, I actually took him to grad with me because we were just friends. I didn’t want to look back on my grad pictures and see myself with a high school crush, so I decided to have Jon go with me instead. I knew we would have a good time. After grade 12, I went away to an English Bible School in Germany for a year. Jon and I somewhat kept in touch with the casual email, but it’s when I got home that everything changed.
After about a month of being home, Jon told me he liked me. I was distraught! A) I wasn’t ready for a relationship and B) I knew I didn’t like him like that. After 15 minutes of “letting him down easy” sentences, I had told Jon that I only liked him as a friend but… do you want to know what Jon heard? I wasn’t ready yet. My goodness! *Note to all readers, if you ever want to tell a guy you’re not interested, keep it simple, just say no. They’ll get it much easier that way.
But thankfully Jon kept pursueing me, and a month later I came to my senses and realized I actually did like him. We started dating June 12th 2006. Here I will give you an idea of our relationship so everything else makes sense later. We are both Christians, and we both see marriage as super important. We want to strive for purity in our relationship and keep ourselves wholly for our future husband/wife. We both agree that the word “love” means a commitment to the better good of the other person, so we decided to wait to say “I love you” until we knew that we were completely committed to the other person for life. More or less, we weren’t going to say “I love you” until we were engaged. Now let’s speed ahead to this summer…
After a year of dating we had talked about getting married, and what it would look like. Were our hearts the same? Did we want the same type of things? Both Jon and I realized that we could see ourselves getting married, and one weekend when I was home from the summer camp I worked at, Jon and I went ring shopping. I pointed out the ones that I liked and he took note. Even after a year of dating Jon had still never bought me red roses. (Because they signify love, and we still hadn’t said I love you.)
Saturday October 27th, 2007: Jon made me a scavenger hunt around the south east part of Regina. He wrote a poem with clues to where everything would be. At each place I had to find a bag with a wooden puzzle piece inside. The last clue led me back to his place where the last puzzle piece was found. When I put all the pieces together, it made a giant wooden heart puzzle with our initials J.M. + D.B. burned in. He made me a candlelit dinner, and I was definitely thinking “this would be a perfect night for a proposal.” But NOTHING! Yes, I was somewhat disapointed, but I tried not to let it show…
Tuesday October 30, 2007: I have an 8:30am class on Tuesday’s and I barely make it to school on time, never mind shower and try and make myself look good. So Tuesday was a sweats day with greasy hair and no make-up. That night I went to Faith Baptist’s youth group as usual and I had taken the youth girls shopping for Operation Christmas Child boxes. I was in a ‘blah’ mood that day and Jon and I were supposed to just watch a movie when I got home. After shopping I was running late, and I still had to drop two girls off before heading back to my house. I called Jon while driving to let him know I was going to be late, and he told me he was already at my house waiting! I knew I was late but I didn’t realize that he had already “beat me there!” (Truth be told, he had actually been there for about 2 hours already) When I walked in I could smell candles, but it didn’t really phase me because Jon lights candles all the time at his house. I thought maybe he decided to light a couple downstairs. I went to the basement and he wasn’t down there! He called my name and told me to wait a second, and then I could come upstairs. I was slightly confused especially because our tvs are only on the main level and in the basement. When he was ready he called me all the way upstairs. As soon as I reached the top step I saw red rose pedals covering the hardwood leading to my room. Instantly I started tearing up as I slowly tiptoed over the meaningful symbols. As I turned into my dark room, I was stunned to see my room illuminated with little white tea-lights placed all over the floor and dressers. Alongside the candles were hundreds more of the red rose pedals covering my bed, dressers and floor. There were two vases, one on my dresser, and one on my nightstand. Each with 2 dozen red roses inside. Jon was smiling at me while sitting on my bed with his guitar in hand. He was wearing a black suit, black shirt, with a white tie. He quietly waited for me to walk through the path of candles leading to him. When I sat beside him, he started to play Making Memories of Us by Keith Urban. As I watched and listened to him sing, “I’m gunna love you, like nobody loves you,” I gave in to my emotions and let the waterworks go. When he finished he looked at me sweetly and said some really nice things (which I actually don’t remember.) He then got down beside the bed on one knee and looked at me with his big blue-green eyes. He grabbed my shaky hand and told me for the first time that he loved me. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. Through my tears I managed to come up with a “yes, and I love you too!” We hugged each other tightly as I rested there in his arms for a bit… letting every wonderful feeling sink in.
That night I didn’t call many people because I wanted my engagement night to be special with just Jon and I. We ended up just sitting and watching TV, instead of the movie we were originally planning on. When my parents got home we told them the news and I walked them through how Jon had asked me.
The plan is to get married on May 10th and in these next 6 months I will try and balance school, teaching piano and now planning a wedding. Stay tuned for blogs to come about the joys and stresses of what this will mean!
